The climate farce in the air-conditioned desert
National Post, 30 November 2023
Holding a climate conference in a petro-state, chaired by the head of an oil company, requires a level of shamelessness previous thought the province of FIFA or the IOC
DUBAI, U.A.E. — Arabia is on a roll. Qatar hosted the 2022 World Cup and the Saudis will do the honours in 2034. Once the world agrees to play football in the scorching desert, a gargantuan climate jamboree is nothing. COP28 — the annual United Nations climate festival — opens Thursday with a gala dinner, the carbon footprint of which might rival the daily production of this week’s newest coal-fired plant in China.
King Charles III will wax grandiloquent in his opening speech on Friday. It will be old crown for the king: as Prince of Wales, he did the same in Paris in 2015 and Glasgow in 2021. Yet this time, the audience will be bigger than ever, with some 70,000 delegates descending upon Dubai for a week of high-living in what locals are referring to as “the happiest place on earth.”
Happiness, in this sense, is not the spiritual peace that is the fruit of Islamic ascetic discipline, but old-fashioned material indulgence.
King Charles has reportedly turned down the temperature on the pool in Buckingham Palace to conserve energy. For recreation, His Majesty’s hosts might show him Dubai’s golf courses, where — contrary to the links in the King’s beloved Scotland — it is possible to play golf at night. Not only is every square inch of grass the product of massive energy-intensive irrigation, but the Emiratis have thoughtfully illuminated the massive courses with stadium-quality lighting. Twenty-four-hour golf might lessen the pressure on booking tee times this week.
The global farce of holding a climate conference in a desert petro-state, chaired by the head of Abu Dhabi’s national oil company, requires a level of shamelessness previously thought the province of FIFA or the International Olympic Committee. But the UN is not entirely shameless: there are enough guilty consciences here that etiquette requires everyone not to notice that the emperor — the King, Emir Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the Pope — has no climate clothes.
Yes, Pope Francis planned to pop in for two days of energetic climate evangelism, but a respiratory illness meant cancelling his trip. It’s a shame, as no doubt the massed hordes of officialdom would have found a pontifical jeremiad on air conditioning amusing. No other place on the planet has done more to reduce temperatures than the United Arab Emirates. The Emiratis have air conditioned the desert. It’s climate change of a sort.
There was a minor flap in the self-congratulations when the BBC lifted the robes of the oil sheikhs to reveal a secret plan to use the gathering of the moneyed classes to do some oil and gas deals. Come for the empty climate promises; stay for the actual oil and gas contracts.
One document included the interesting detail that Abu Dhabi’s national oil company was proposing to broker a deal to sell Canadian liquefied natural gas to China. That might explain why Prime Minister Justin Trudeau refused to sell Canadian natural gas to Germany. Why sell to German allies in the open when you can sell secretly to Chinese communists under the cover of the desert night?
Poor King Charles will be rhapsodizing about plans to run the royal train on used cooking oil and soiled fish-and-chips wrapping while his first ministers are ramping up fossil-fuels deals.
There will be plenty of laughs this week in Dubai. But there is also a deeper question, for those inclined to ask it.
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